Oh hello there long lost readers, it’s been a while. I’d like to apologize for my absence these last few months, but I was busy vacationing in Lake Como with George Clooney and Stacy Keibler (no I will not wrestle you for George), attending charity events with Duchess Katherine, playing peacemaker between Katy Perry and Russell Brand, and trying to convince JLo that nip slips are so 2011 (apparently my efforts failed). Naturally all of this celebrity rendezvousing left no time for blogging. Sorry, rolling with the A-List is tiring. So, why don’t we do a little recap of what went down while I was living the good life:
- The Giants won the Super Bowl.
- Eli Manning led the Giants to a 21-17 Super Bowl win over the hair model otherwise known as Tom Brady and the Patriots.
- The Patriots couldn’t hold on to a late game lead and lost to the Giants in the Super Bowl…AGAIN.
- Eli Manning decided it was time to leave Peyton’s shadows and won a second Super Bowl MVP title.
- There was a ticker-tape parade in New York because ya know, the Giants won the Super Bowl
Oh, what’s that? Other events took place in the sports world over the last three months? Weird. Okay fine, these things happened too:
- LINSANITY took over the NBA. On a completely selfish level, I’m glad for the madness because “Linsanity” is pretty much “Lindsey.” So basically people are always cheering for me (nope I’m not self-absorbed whatsoever). Sorry Melo, but it’s time for you to sit back and enjoy the Lintertainment.
- The most evil couple in the world, Jay Cutler and Kristen Cavallari, decided to procreate. Unfortunately, the Bears QB will have to sit out the parenting part due to a knee injury.
- National League MVP Ryan Braun sprinkled some of his magic dust over baseball arbitrator Shyam Das and managed to get his 50-game suspension overturned. I’m not sure what’s in that special powder Ryan, but you might want to share some with your Milwaukee teammates before the season starts.
- Alabama won round two of the “I-Can’t-Read-Too-Good-And-My-Wife-Is-Also-My-Sister-And-We’ve-Upgraded-To-A-Doublewide-But-I-Sure-Can-Throw-A-Football” Bowl against LSU.
And lastly, did I mention…
THE GIANTS WON THE SUPER BOWL